Food Freedom, Part 2

These are some of the most important that have aided me in my "food freedom journey," as I so affectionately have dubbed the process I am going through in order to gain victory over compulsive overeating. Obviously, not scientific fact. But perhaps useful to you. They sure were useful to me. 

Recognize triggers.

A "trigger" is something that stimulates the compulsive behavior to indulge yourself. Like an alcoholic walking by a bar? A drug addict walking downtown? You get it. You'd think for an overeater, the trigger would be the kitchen. Actually, for me, this was not the case. It took some journaling and quite a few trial-and-errors to narrow down what really triggered my overeating habits. And it all came down to one thing: I crave carbs. At night.

Perhaps to you, this sounds ridiculous ("Carbs? Ew. I'm all about the fat. Bring on the peanut butter and pass the ice cream while you're at it.") or like a no-brainer ("Hello. I could have told you that. I inhale and exhale carbs as frequently as I can. Duh."). Narrowing down the trigger(s) -- there are often many -- was groundbreaking in my struggle. I could then proceed to the next step.

"I recognize that I __________________, and I am okay with that."

This is what psychologists often refer to as something like "positive reinforcement," (usually if you follow it up with a reward. More on that later.) or "positive affirmations." I call it acceptance of reality. I started to literally tell myself things along these lines.

"I'm at work. I'm not hungry. But I'm tired and I'm feeling stressed. I recognize that because of this, I want to overeat carbs. I want to get my hands on anything crunchy, sweet, chocolatey, gooey, anything! But you know what? I am okay with that."

I often have to do this when I'm feeling creatively stunted or physically tense. It takes practice, and I'm still learning it. But after the first few times of talking to yourself like a little kid, you start to get it. It starts to sink in, and you don't have to repeat-after-me anymore.

The real reason this works is because, as in regards to anything, acceptance of reality limits the power of the controller to control you. There's no use beating around the bush here. Reality is reality. And that's where we want to be. You can't pretend you don't want to overeat, because you do. You can't act like you don't rely on food to deal with anxiety, because you do. Or I do, anyway. Like knocking the legs out from under a chair, the desire to overeat goes largely away when you simply accept the fact that that's exactly what you want to do: overeat. (Notice that I did not say "it goes away completely." Because it doesn't... more on that to come.)  Another thing about acceptance is that it gives you, the eater, control over food, the eaten.

As I said before, these two strategies do not take away the compulsion to overeat in its entirety. They basically just help you with the next step, put you back in the driver's seat, and help you to be specific. For me, it made all the difference to know exactly what triggers what food compulsions. Stress = eat, eat, eat. Anything. Late at night = crunch, sweets, carbs and some fats (particularly peanut butter). Anxiety = undereat or binge on carbs. That's my diagnosis for myself anyway.

You accept it, then you... ride it out.

My new all-time favorite phrase. It doesn't just apply to food by the way. After all, the reasons why we overeat are often associated with more than stress, boredom, etc. I fully believe that eating disorders are the direct descendant of anxiety disorders (not necessarily doctor-diagnosed) or emotional disorders. This means that food is an outlet for those of us who eat because of internal anxiety, lack of self-respect (ie feelings of worthlessness like "what's the point in trying to be healthy?"), or emotional gaps.

This is why overeating is such a hard "habit" to kick. It's not even really a habit. It's a tool to channel our anxieties, a self-destructive way to deal with self-destructive thoughts (often). So when we refuse to give in to the overeating impulses that are triggered by emotions, stress, etc. we naturally will go through a really rough patch. A detox, if you will. Sort of like an addict, you know? -- and it can be just as emotionally challenging.

Riding it out looks different for everyone. But it essentially means to just hang in there. Roll with it. Calm down. Chill out. Let the chips fall where they may. Sounds easy, but you will find it harder than you think. You may feel like you're going to die. I did. But you won't. And after a few times of near-death experiences, you'll realize, "Hey! This isn't so hard." And then you're over the hump and you can deal with future issues much more calmly and reasonably (ie you probably won't feel like you're going to die. Hopefully.)

To help distract from the intense anxiety that can result from riding it out, some people like to take walks, some like to read a book, some like to go to the gym. I like to write down my feelings because that helps me to process them. I also like to eat an apple because it's crunchy, sweet, tangy, and a natural form of sugar and complex carbohydrate. I don't know why, but that works for me. But you have to find what works for you.

That's the hardest part. But once you do (and believe me, it takes work), that hardest part is well-nigh behind you. It's all upward from there -- toward freedom! Which makes it all worth it.